Hello I am 25 and my spouse is 24 we have been together for 4 years and married for 2 1/2 we hold 5 month old twin daughters and we couldn't be happier we are at a great time in our lives we spend abundantly of time together and we have our "date nights" without the babies as you would expect and still make time for each other we own sex but only about 1 - 2 times a week and it's adjectives my fault he wants to adjectives the time but my sex drive is GONE!! I recently started taking birth control again but it's gotten to the point that I don't even feel affectionate next to him I mean I kiss him and hug him and tell him what a wonderful hubby and daddy he is and how much I love him but our sex time is really on the rocks!! I just don't know what to do I mean our kids are GREAT they shift to bed at a decent hour and sleep through the night!! I only can't seem to get surrounded by the mood if anybody has ANY advice PLEASE I would love the backing is it the BC or is it just me and my body trying to bounce back from twins (I gain 65 pounds and only have 15 moved out to be back at what I was earlier I had them) i just don't know what to do can someone please facilitate me?? Thank you in advance for the support!!
Birth Control and my sex drive what should I do?
Answers: You guys nouns like you are doing everything right - you know -tthe date nights and communicating and ensure you have shared the load of strictness amongst you - so KUDOS to both of you.
I would hazzard a guess your hormones have gone a bit haywire adn have gone even more bizerk after birth control pills are surrounded by the mix...
Hormone levels in pregnant and only just birthed women goes from one extreme to the other. These massive hormonal changes directly effect mood, the opening a woman reacts to events and the meaning she places on things that are said and done ( and NOT said and NOT done..)
The largest hormone produced during pregnancy is progesterone and this steadily rises as pregnancy progresses. It is matched with the rising production of estrogen – and this huge gushing and influx through the day, throughout pregnancy; is responsible for the myriad of emotion experienced by the pregnant and new mother.
Many women feel highly sexy, within their feminine power whilst they are pregnant. Some lose any inhibitions they may have have ( especially with body image) and passionate, loving sex ensue. Of course there is the other end of the spectrum where on earth the male partner may be repelled at their partners shape or enjoy emotional issues with the varying nature of their partner, or a woman who either through dreadful morning sickness, thrilling trauma or exhaustion, has their sex drive drop below nil.
Hormone levels rapidly reduce after birthing, and dependant upon the health of the woman, may fall contributing to PND and adjustment issues. After birthing you still produce estrogen, but much smaller quantity progesterone. If a woman is not eating healthful foods, resting and feeling nurtured, it may organize to the hormones becoming out of balance or having "Too much estrogen" within the world of medicine is called - "estrogen dominance”. ( Look it up – but amongst the document of complaints is LOW SEX DRIVE)
Again – on the other hand, there are women who birth and get the impression very empowered, their sex drive kick in and are ready to move about! There really isn’t a ‘norm’ here. Throughout pregnancy and after birthing, it is very important to nurture the clean mother and allow her to know that its normal to have these inner health of being overwhelmed, to keep up the intimacy, kind touches etc. Having a strong relationship with clear communication and thoughtfulness on the part of respectively partner is the key. Both may be feeling confused, exhausted or excited and the loving touch is a lenient reminder that they are not alone. Allow the pace to go where on earth it will, with no judgments. A rejection of sex is not a rejection of the creature. It’s a ‘Not now or Not in this space or Show me you really love me” message. This is where on earth you need to be familiar with your partner primary “Love Language” – so that you can indulge each other in the opening that you feel loved and they receive love.
Talk to your OB/GYN about getting a low dose hormonal birth control. You didn't mention which b/c you're on so I'm not sure if you are already on one. Some b/c enjoy great risks of lowered libido than others. Again, I'd suggest talking to your OB/GYN.
BTW, congrats on dropping the baby weight--I hear the last 15-10 lbs is the hardest! .
Yes, it could be the bcps. All bcps are different and everyone reacts to them differently. You should probably contact your doctor and conceivably try out another brand. If that doesn't help then you'll know its not the birth control.
Congradulations on the birth of your precious twin girls. You basically might be expecting too much too fast, remember you have be a busy mom these last 5 months no matter how obedient the babies are.
It takes awhile before our hormones find back to where they use to be. I own a couple of suggestions:
(1) ask hubby to give you a back rub at lowest once a week on the night you don't have sex
(2) after you pick a non sex night and give hiim a body rub , wipe oil and all, candles are a nice touch too.
(3) whip a bubble bath together and have a cup of wine, with the bath.
Try to deduce back to the things that turned you on most before.
Go buy yourself some sexy lingerie surrounded by his favourite colour and watch his eyes frothy up.
Remind yourself, why you married him, and that you have this wonderful sexy hubby.Through the day when the babies are napping any nap too or start thinking about your man and how handsome he is.
I am really glad you hold date night that is so esteemed, but you know once or twice a week isn't too bad for a mom with twins.
But try at smallest once a week that you initiate sex, men are so turned on by that. Sometimes when we start we really don't feel like it but once we achieve going nature takes over and voila great sex ...hope i give you some ideas, and if you have no sex toys girl by adjectives means buy some !.
It sounds to me like you own the whole mother/wife/babies balance pretty in good health sorted out, other than this glitch with your libido. It's rather possible that it is the birth control that is causing this problem and you should brand an appointment with your GP or Gyno (whoever prescribed it for you) and discuss this with them. It really doesn't bear much at all in the style of unbalanced hormones to have a principal impact on libido.
Having said that though, is this just a recent thing? Did you enjoy a raging libido before this? Like ... before you become a mum and it was just you and him, did you own sex "all the time"? I only ask this because it really is without blemish okay for couples to only have sex a couple of times a week, especially if they are parenting immature children.
It's also not unusual for a man (as lovely and sensitive as he obviously is) to simply expect his partner to automatically want to have sex every time he requirements to have it - unfortunately, this is not solitary unfair, but totally illogical when you consider the demands (physical, intense and intellectual) of being both a wife/partner and a mum.
Apart from discussing this with your doctor ASAP, you really do hold to stop blaming yourself for this situation - no good can come of this, especially to your self-esteem and confidence, never mind the stability and longevity of your marriage.
Be enlarge with your husband (and your GP) about this and doesn`t matter what else you do, make sure that you don't end up contained by a situation where you are having sex "on demand" simply to keep him happy - trust me when I speak about you that this strategy doesn't work for anyone in the long term.
Good luck - hope you carry it sorted really soon. .
You have twin baby girls. You must be tired out. Get the Mr, to oblige you so you are not so tired. You need lots more sleep.